


Ned Is Totally Fine Now, Thanks

by shouldhaveknownbetter



Series: Extra-Curricular Activities [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Handholding, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spidechelle, Storytelling, Swearing, probably, sickness recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 19:44:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19091833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouldhaveknownbetter/pseuds/shouldhaveknownbetter
Summary: Coming down from a raging fever ought to lead to the world making more sense, not less, but when Ned tries to figure out what happened at the Academic Decathlon tournament he just missed, he only gets a lot of confusing nonsense about nakedness.  What the heck happened? And why does Ned have two missed calls from Peter?  And one from MJ…?  Who even calls these days? It takes two surprise visitors for the whole story to come out.Or: Ned learns about the events ofTeam Building Exercises.





	Ned Is Totally Fine Now, Thanks

**Author's Note:**

> Probably will make zero sense without reading _Team Building Exercises_. But if you wanna be adventurous, go ahead and jump right in! Might still not make a huge amount of sense if you have. No promises!

Being sick was the literal _worst_.  All week, Ned had missed the good stuff like lego time with Peter, Academic Decathlon, and watching the video announcements before first period, plus now that he was starting to feel better, nothing made sense, and he didn’t know if it’s the fault of his weakened brain, or if the entire world really had fallen into shambles without him around to be the voice of reason.

Ned emerged from his virus-ridden haze on Saturday night, his fever finally dropping from brain sizzling levels and leaving him weak, but upright by Sunday, and thus cleared to go back to school Monday morning.  And that was gonna be some kind of thing, after missing so much schoolwork – a week of Chem labs and trig sets – plus that tournament.

Which was great because something was _up_.

It was Sunday afternoon, and he had three missed calls.  Two from Peter, which was unusual but not alarming, and one from MJ which was _deeply_ suspicious.  Who the hell made phone calls these days?  If it had been an emergency, Peter or both of them would have texted, right?  They’re probably both fine.   _Right_?

And then there were the weird messages to the Academic Decathlon group chat.  Like super bizarre.  Apparently, shit had gotten real at the tournament which should be over and done with by now, and yet he was still trying to piece together just what in the heck everyone was talking about.  It took him about ten minutes of scrolling and all of his superior deduction skills to determine that Midtown had, in fact, won the tournament.  Wow, guys.  Way to bury the lede. ( _Lede_.  Heh.  Ned _Leeds._   He loved that one.) 

Anyways.  What the hell had happened?

His mom had threatened to take his phone away _again_ because she said he was getting too worked up.  “Ned, if you can’t calm down, I’ll have to put all your devices in the freezer again!”  She said, looming over him with her hands on her hips as he sat propped up on pillows in his bed, surrounded by all the comforts of sickness: stuffed animals, drinks, and boxes of tissues.

“Fine! Fine!  Then _you_ can call Peter and ask him what happened.  He’s not answering me!”  Ned threw his phone into his blankets and waved his hands to show how cool he really was.

His mom _adored_ Peter and the two of them spent a lot of time chatting whenever Peter was over, so Ned knew this wasn’t any kind of threat. 

“Sure, big guy.  I’ll talk to Peter whenever you want.” His mom patted his cheek, tucked his blankets up around him where he sat up in bed, and then collected the various dishes that he’d discarded in the name of illness and staying hydrated.  He still sorta felt like tepid crap, but he had recovered enough to appreciate all the extra attention, especially getting served drinks with straws upon request.  Yummy

As soon as she was gone, Ned scrabbled around for his phone.  Still nothing from Peter.  _Youd better not be dead_ , he texted.  _Or in jail_ , he added as an afterthought.

A soft knock at his open bedroom door startled him.

“Hi… Your mom said it was okay to come in…” Betty peeked into the room.

“Oh, God!”  Ned tossed his phone, shoved the wads of Kleenex under his pillows, and threw the giant R2-D2 stuffie over his shoulder.  “Wow!  You’re here!”  He kicked aside his fleece Lilo and Stitch blanket and hoped there wasn’t anything too disgusting lurking.  “You can sit anywhere.”

“Okay,” Betty said, then picked her away across his floor and perched beside him.  “How are you feeling today?”

“I’m totally fine now, thanks,” Ned said in a rush.  “How are _you_?”

Betty laughed. “Fine, too. But I’m not the one who was out sick for days.”

“You didn’t get sick too?  Great.  That’s _so_ great.”

They smiled at each other for a long moment, then Betty thrust the folder she held at him.  “I brought your homework.  Like I said I would.”  There was a beat where Ned just blinked at her.  “You don’t remember,” she said with a still-bright smile.  “That’s okay.  You were sick so I guess I’m not surprised.  It’s good to see you better.”

Ned scrambled for a response.  “Uh, no.  I mean, I remember that you said you would.  In your text.  I figured you were just being nice.  You’re a nice person and of course you’d do it, but you know, things happen.  Plus, you might not have wanted to risk getting sick.  I wouldn’t have expected you to come.”

“Don’t be dumb,” Betty said and gave his arm a light smack.  “I said it, so I’m here.”

“Right.  Of course.” He grinned.  “Thanks for all the math.  I’ll probably be back at school tomorrow, but I can get started on this so I won’t be too far behind.  I already missed a couple quizzes and labs, plus the Academic Decathlon tournament this weekend, so this will really help.”

Betty’s eyes widened a little as he said ‘Academic Decathlon.’ “Ohhhh, that’s right.  You probably haven’t heard.  Unless – have you talked to anyone?  Like maybe Peter?”

“I knew it!”  Ned sat up all the way.  “Just tell me.  I know something bad happened.”

“Not _bad_.  Just –” She looked around as if to catch Ned’s mom listening at the door.  “There was just some _nakedness_.” Her voice dropped to a whisper on the last word.

“Nakedness?”  Ned felt his temperature spike back up and a wave of dizziness made him sway.  Ohmigod, Peter had gotten caught in his Spider-Man suit, hadn’t he?  And then, he’d just panicked and stripped.  Crap.  Ned could imagine the whole scenario, because _of course_ that was precisely what Peter had done when _Ned_ had caught him in the suit.  And Peter was _such_ a shitty liar that he’d just made it worse.  Maybe no one had believed it?  Maybe he’d been able to play it off like a costume or a prank? Yeah, maybe that had worked…

Betty leaned in conspiratorially, even though they were _still_ alone in Ned’s room.  “He and Michelle were alone together in a hotel room, and they were _naked_.”

“ _What?_   Oh.”  Ned recalibrated and his panic was trampled by the horrifying images that popped in to his brain.  Suddenly the group chat made a heck of a lot more sense.  “ _Oh._ ”

“ _Yeah..._ ” Betty said meaningfully, watching Ned as his face went on a journey. “People are talking like there were pictures, but I haven’t seen any.  I think everyone’s scared of Michelle.  I mean, wouldn’t you be?”

Ned considered this.  “She’s cool.  We’re friends.  So, like, I get why everyone’s terrified of her, but I think she enjoys people fearing her.”

Betty giggled. It was adorable.  “You don’t seem surprised? About Peter and Michelle?”

There’s a really long silence where Ned experimented with some different facial expressions.  “Okay.  You didn’t hear it from me, but think they’re really into each other.  Well, for sure I know _Peter_ is.  Into her, I mean. And it’s _way_ mutual, if you ask me. They just _watch_ each other all the time.  And MJ’s like riding Peter for every little thing at Academic Decathlon just so she can get in his face.  Like, she _has fun_.”

Betty wrinkled her nose.  So cute.  “Twisted.”

“Oh, totally. But on some level, it makes perfect sense.  Even so, I’m still gonna need to hear it from Peter before I really believe it.  I mean, maybe that’s not what really happened and everyone just got it wrong.  Are you sure there aren’t any pics?  Because that might convince me.  Ugh, that sounded gross.  Yuck. I totally didn’t mean it that way.”  Ned shuddered.

“I get it.”  Betty patted his hand, and Ned willed her to not just pull away again, but it was just two quick pats and she was done.  They just sort of smiled at each other again.

“Well,” Ned said as it started to get awkward.  “ _I_ don’t have any news.  I’ve been pretty out of things for days.  What’s up with you?”

Betty tilted her head just enough.  “Oh, just normal stuff.  _You_ know.”

Ned did _not_ know.  But he desperately wanted to.  He had an ever-expanding list of important questions that needed answering.  _How_ was she so smart?  What was she even doing here? Did she ever wear sweatpants or ponytails?  Even on the weekend, here in Ned’s room she had on a pleated skirt and a headband.  And don’t get him wrong, he was into it.  _Very_ into it.  But he needed to know everything.  _Everything_. 

“Fill me in,” Ned said.  “What did I miss?”

“Okay, well after school on Friday there was this thing where –”

At that suspenseful moment, the apartment doorbell rang, and Betty stopped.  “Someone else is here to visit you?”  She said it with a smile, but Ned wanted to grind his teeth.

“Ned!” His mom called.  “Peter’s here!”

“Oh!’ Betty said.  “This is so great.  Now you can find out everything that happened!”  She stood up right as Peter arrived.  “Hi Peter. Congratulations on the tournament win this weekend.”

Peter ducked his head a little.  “Hey, Betty.   You’ve heard about the tournament already?  Wow.  And thanks.  It’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, we’ve heard,” Betty said significantly and looked at Ned.

Ned was in the midst of a genuine crisis.  Betty was there.  Right there.  Next him on his dumb duvet, ready to hang out, just the two of them.  In his post-virus-addled state, Ned knew this was pretty much a dream come true.  But also, in front of him stood his best friend, who either got naked with a girl this weekend _or_ nearly had his superhero secret identity revealed and _then_ stripped naked.  Dilemma much?

Betty stood up and smoothed her pleats.  “Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better, Ned.  See you tomorrow for sure?”

“Uh, yeah.  I’ll be at school.  I can’t miss any more classes and still expect to catch up.”

“Awesome.  I’ll look for you first thing.”  And then.  Then she actually kissed his cheek???????  Ned’s fever raged back to life and his head swam.

“Wait, no.  Don’t go,” Ned bleated weakly to her retreating back.

“Bye!” Betty waved to Peter and Ned then was gone, leaving only a vanilla scented breeze and the plaid pattern from her skirt still burned onto his retinas.

Peter watched her go and then swiveled around.  “Wow, man.  Betty came to visit you?  Awesome!”  He offered up a palm for a high five.  Ned ignored it.

“Hey, I want to be supportive your journey, but I very nearly had my own thing going on here,” Ned said.

“Oh.  I should I –” Peter spun and made like he was going to head after Betty.  “I can get her back!”

“No!  The moment is gone.  And also, I will straight up murder you if you don’t sit down _now_ and tell me what happened this weekend.”

“Do you want the official version or the unofficial version?” Peter asked, entirely failing to hide his sneaky little smile.

“Ohmigod, there’s an unofficial version?  Close the door.”

“Heard that!” His mom yelled as she passed the doorway while putting in her earbuds.  She was wearing her athletic shoes and striding like she was ready to power walk away.  She stopped and reversed. “Glad you’re here, Peter, sweetie! Ned missed going to the tournament with you.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Leeds!” Peter bounced in a happy sort of way.  “It was really different without him.”

“We’re shutting the door.  Now!” Ned said.  Loudly. Huh.  He must really be feeling better.

Mrs. Leeds waved a finger.  “Don’t bother, I’m headed out to do some laps in the park.”

“We’re still shutting the door, Mom!”  Ned gestured commandingly to Peter who crossed the tiny room to close the door with an apologetic shrug to Ned’s mom who only laughed. That done, Peter threw himself into his usual spot, backflipping to land at the end of the bed.  He then rescued the R2-D2 stuffie and gave it a hug.

“Alright.  _Talk_ ,” Ned said.

“Well…I just don’t even know how to start…”

“With the nakedness. Start with the nakedness.”

“ _Oh_ , you heard about that.”

“Spill.”

“Well, for the record, it was half naked, not totally naked.”

Ned’s eyes widened.  “Which half?”

“Omigod, Ned.  You can’t just ask that!”  Peter whacked Ned with the R2-D2 stuffie.

“Ow, ow, ow! Okay, got it.  Be nice.  I’m recovering from a grave illness, remember? But like, just tell me then. You were with MJ?  Naked with MJ? For real?  Or was this some elaborate subterfuge?”

Peter turned red, starting with his ears.  “You heard about MJ, too?  She called it a ‘cover-up’ because ‘misdirection’ reminded her of magicians, which apparently are creepy, but I hadn’t heard that, so it seemed appropriate to me.  Anyways.”

“Oh.”  Ned drooped.  “So, it was all a fake out, huh?  You and MJ didn’t actually hook up.”

“Ah, no.”  If possible, Peter turned even redder.  “It _started_ as a fake-out to get Flash to stop banging on the door to find me – I went out to help with this car accident, but I didn’t have my suit, he followed me back not knowing it was actually me – never mind about that, it all turned out fine – but then it turned _real_.”

Ned sat up straight.  “Real?  Like _real_ real.  Like you and MJ got together for real?”

Peter nodded.  “That’s what I said, right?” 

“So, what happened?  You finally made your move?”

“Well, I’d like to think it was mutual.  See first we took our shirts off, then MJ got rid of Flash, then I told her I liked her, and then she kissed me.  So, you see, I think it was basically a meeting of the minds.”

“Oh.  Wow.  You’re gonna have to explain that all again, because it made zero sense.”  Ned shook his head.  “And I’ve spent the last few days with a high fever so I know what I’m talking about.”

“Okay.”  Peter took a deep breath.  “You see, it all started because I was running later for the bus…”

***

“…And then she knocks on my door, saying she’s gonna room with _me_ because Sally was hooking up with an old girlfriend.”

“Aurora?  The one on the robotics team from Yonkers?  They got back together?  That’s so awesome!”

“Wait, you _know_ Aurora?  And you knew about her and Sally?”

“Well, yeah.  Why didn’t you?  Oh, _yeah_.  Because you’re always leaving to do Spider-Man stuff so you have no idea who’s hooking up.”

“I think I would have noticed…”

“And _yet_ …  OW.”

***

“So, I’m feeling a little bit reckless because, well, I _know_ MJ knows.  And for whatever reason, she’s just not interested in talking to me.  Not about knowing I’m Spider-Man, or really anything else. Like, she was just going to sit there all night and ignore me, maybe draw a picture of me or something.  So, I go for it.”

“Go for _what_?”                              

“I tell her that I _know_ she knows.  And like, she’s actually quiet for a moment.  She was like deciding if she really wanted to talk to me.  Do you know what she said?”

“Just tell me.”

“That she wanted to me to _want_ to tell her.  About Spider-Man.  That she didn’t want to know unless I _wanted_ her to know, which was actually super respectful in a way, but also just _so_ MJ.  Like, she gives me shit all the time, but still keeps her distance.  Or she did…”

“Okay, so tell me.  Did you want to tell her?  Or did you only do it because you were pretty sure she already knew?”

“No, I wanted to tell her.  I wanted her to know.”

“That’s what I figured.”

 

***

“And I didn’t have anything that I could use as a suit or to cover up my face –”

“Wait.  Okay, I know you said you didn’t wear your Spidey suit, but you _really_ didn’t bring it?”

“Yes, I was Being Good.”

“Boy, did that bite you in the ass, huh?”

“Well, almost. But MJ totally improvised.  She gave me her hoodie and a scarf, so it was totally okay.”

“Okay…then what was the problem?”

“ _Flash_ was the problem.”

“Ohhhhhh, I should have known.”

“Yeah…”

 ***

“And then, MJ told me to take off my shirt.  Like _strip_ , she said.”

“ _What_????”

“Yeah, so I _do_ while she completely trashes the room and rips all the sheets off the bed, and I’m totally confused, but at that point I’ll do anything she says.”

“Well, _of course_ you would.”

“Hey! Anyway, and then, she pushes me down on the bed – I don’t have my shirt on, right? And she takes her own shirt off.  No bra.  So, she’s just – um, topless, you know.”

“– Holy Shit –”

“– I know, _right_ – and then she puts a pillow over her um, breasts, and then opens the door to the hallway.”

“ _What_?”

“Yeah, and she’s standing there um, topless, reaming out Flash and everybody else who immediately assumed that we were – uh, we were – you _know_.  But she threatens them, tells them to delete all their pictures and go away and it totally _worked_.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

***

“So, I was like, this was _it_.  This was the _moment_ , because it was just the two of us, right? And she’s just done this amazing thing and saved me from getting exposed. I _had_ to tell her how much I liked her.  I wanted to say something about how I felt about her.  And I was the most hopeful I’d ever been because she had decided to stay with me, in my room, not with someone else.   She had all these reasons why she couldn’t stay with Cindy or whomever, but what it came down to was that she must have wanted to stay with me, right? Because, even though she always yells at me for being late, she never actually _asks_ where I was or what I was doing, you know?  She pretends she’s messing with me and never waits for a real answer.  Like it’s a little suspicious.  And even when I have a really good excuse ready to go, she’s always super skeptical.  How could she even know that I wasn’t late because of an actual good reason?  Huh? Am I right?”

“Um, well.  Probably not, but I’m your best friend, so I guess I’m on your side…”

“What do you mean, ‘you guess’?”

“Just tell your story, dude.”

***

“So, she got rid of the pillow and she was just …. Augh…”

“Dude, are you okay?  Your ears are like, flaming red.”

“I’m _fine_.  Just, I think I’m gonna need a minute….”

“Take your time, man.”

***

“So, we’re kissing, and it’s _so_ so good.  Like, Ned, I can’t even begin to tell you and I won’t because I’m not going to like be that guy who talks about stuff like that –”

“Except, what are you totally doing?  You’re telling me everything.”

“Not _everything_.  And I’m trying to do it respectfully.  You know.”

“Sure.”

“Anyways, _then_ I totally almost ruin everything by stopping the kissing to be like ‘is this for real’ because suddenly I’m worried that we’ll do this and then the next day, MJ will her usual ‘I was totally messing with you.’ Or just pretend nothing happened.  Or realize the whole Spider-Man thing is actually a huge turn-off.  Or that _I’m_ the turn-off.  Or all of those things.  And then this will be it.  I’ll have blown my one chance with her forever.”

“Hey, if you really thought it might have been your only chance with MJ, wouldn’t you have just wanted to totally go for it?  Like, just live a little, even if nothing changed?”

“No…because how could I do that if it didn’t mean anything?  If she didn’t really want to be there, with me?”

“Peter, you are just the best at making things hard on yourself.  MJ saved you from Flash, took her shirt off, and sat in your lap.  And you think she’s not into you? Stop playing games with yourself.”

“When you put it like that…but at the time, I just needed to know.”

“So, you like, stopped everything to get her to tell you if she’s actually into you?  When she’s topless and sucking face with you?  When she’s MJ?  When has she ever done _anything_ she didn’t want to do?”

“Yeah, fair point.”

“Dude, your issues are keeping you from living your best life.”

“Noted.”

“Did you get it together? Tell me you got it together.”

“I’d like to think so…”

***

“Oh, and did you know that the Academic Decathlon team captain has a kit with first aid stuff and…condoms, apparently?”

“Oh, is that for real?  I’d heard, but thought it was just fake news spread by Flash.  Wait.  How do you know _that_?”

“Well…”

“Oh, your ears are going atomic again.”

“Oh, jeez.  Nothing really happened like that…Not yet.”

“But you want it to?”

“Yeah, I want it to.  But did we have to fast forward through everything right in that moment?  I still feel a little bit like I’ve slipped into another universe, that this isn’t real, that I’ll go into school tomorrow and MJ will look at me like I’m something stuck to the bottom of her shoe.”

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure she’ll do that even if you’re, like, engaged to be married.  It’s MJ.”

“Yeah…”

“Did you just _sigh_?”

**

“So then, we fell asleep.  And when I woke up, she had her arm and leg over me and I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to move and wake her up, because it was kinda perfect, but I also really had to go to the bathroom.  So, I just waited, until I could slide out, and she didn’t even move. I came right back and when I got back into bed, she sort of pulled me back in without waking up, so I didn’t have to bother her, she folded me back in.”

“Awww!  Who could have predicted that MJ would be a secret cuddler?”

“Don’t tell her I said anything!”

“Nah, I think I’ll just cherish that little nugget for myself.”

***

“And, on the bus home, I wasn’t sure what I should do but she just sat right next to me, put her feet on the seat across the aisle and then…fell asleep on me.”

“Man, you are so _in._ ”

“Looks that way…”

“And you were worried that she was gonna drop you?”

“Yeah, seems dumb now…”

 

***

“Dude, I am for _sure_ making it to school tomorrow.  I gotta see this for myself.”

“Okay, but like don’t be weird.  _Please_.”

“Gotcha.  I’ll be cool.”

 

***

“So, tell me the whole thing again.  Start from the beginning.”

“For real?”

“Yes.  I want to hear it from the top.”

“Again?”

“Hold on, let me adjust my pillows.  Okay, go.  I’m ready.  Tell me everything again. Start with how she yelled at you on the bus and it totally turned you on, and you almost made out right there, in front of everyone.”

“That is not what I said!”

“I could read between the lines.”

“Wow, you’re embarrassing.”

“Yeah, yeah.  I’m waiting.  Start talking. Go.”

***

The next morning, Ned was out of bed and ready to go even earlier than on a normal day, trying to project wellness and recovery. 

“I’m impressed,” his mom said.  “You’re really bouncing back.  I didn’t expect you to be on your feet so quickly.  This doesn’t have anything to do with your visitor yesterday?  The one who wasn’t Peter?”

“I’m totally fine now, thanks mom.  Gotta get back to normal life if I’m ever gonna catch up with everything I’ve missed.  And yeah, I’m excited to go hang out with Betty, too.  It was super cool of her to visit me.”

“Yeah.  Absolutely.  Super cool.”  His mom gave him a hug.  “Take it easy today, though.  Be kind to yourself.”

“Sure, mom.  I’ll try.”

***

At school, Ned trotted through the halls, looking for a bright blonde head, most likely sporting a headband.  However, before he found Betty, he spotted MJ at her locker.  He veered off to stand next to her, silently offering her his upraised hand.

MJ’s lip curled as she looked from his hand to his beaming face.  “I assume you’ve been informed of the events of this weekend.”

Ned didn’t respond, and only moved his hand slightly forward.

“I told Peter he should call you or something so you didn’t have to hear it from anyone else, but insisted he had to wait to tell you in person.”  MJ turned back to her locker and resumed loading/unloading books.  Ned made a tiny insistent noise and pushed his hand closer to her.  “I am _not_ high-fiving you, Leeds,” she said, giving him her favorite dead-eyed look.

Ned wiggled his eyebrows and continued to be smug.

“ _No_.”

“Yeah, you will.  I’ll tell you how Peter has been totally into you for months and couldn’t decide if you liked him back, so he agonized about what to do, what to say…  It was messy.”

“Okay, fine.” MJ smacked his hand and turned back to her locker.   “Tell me everything later,” she said, out of the side of her mouth, just as Peter walked up on her other side.

“I gotcha,” Ned said with an exaggerated wink that MJ did not return.

“Hey,” Peter said breathlessly.

“Hey, yourself.”  MJ continued putting books into her backpack.  She sounded flat and inflectionless as usual, but Ned saw her bite her lip as she carefully did not to look at Peter, and… was that a _smile_?

“Ned! You’re back!” Peter bounced to his words.

“Looks that way,” Ned said and then mouthed _what’s up with you guys_ , gesturing between Peter and MJ.

Peter shrugs, but it’s a happy little shrug.  Ned can tell.  Peter’s got this dopey little grin and he’s watching MJ move books around avidly.

“So, did you finish the book you were reading last night?”  Peter asked.  “I know you were near the end.”

MJ pulled one volume out and showed him the bookmark. “Really close.  Depends on how first period goes.  If it’s boring, I’ll blow through it.  Otherwise, gym class for sure.”  No, it really was a smile.  Wild. 

“I like this,” Ned said. “It sort of humanizes you.”  He gestured vaguely, encompassing her creeping smile, Peter’s happy bounce.

MJ reared up.  “You take that back.”

“Can’t.  Won’t.  I’m a truth teller.”

“And we all thank you for that,” Peter said with grin, and then he shoved his hands in his pockets and bounced some more.  “So, what are you doing tonight?  Wanna do something?  I could swing by if you want to do homework or whatever.”  And Ned realized Peter wasn’t talking to _him_.

MJ turned to make ironic eye contact with Ned. “Did he just say ‘swing by’?”

“That’s what _I_ heard…” Ned shook his head.

“What?” Peter said.  “Can’t I use that word?  Are there words I’m not allowed to use?”

“Later, much later tonight, after you _swing by_ and after we make out some more, we’re gonna have to talk about how a secret identity should work.”  MJ threw her backpack over her shoulder and slammed her locker shut.  “It’s a good thing you’re cute.” 

Just then, Betty bopped up to stand next to Ned. “Who’s cute?”

 _You are_ , Ned’s brain stutters.  His mouth, on the other hand, refused to form words. 

“This doof.”  MJ jerked her thumb at Peter whose bright eyes and pink cheeks gave him the appearance of a woodland creature as he registered the compliment.

“Hey, you.  You’re back.” Betty nudged Ned with her shoulder.  “How are you feeling?”

“Great!  Better!  So much better! Thanks for noticing!”

“Well, I mean.  You’re here.  Hard to miss.  I’m glad to see you again.”

“Yeah, thanks for bringing me all that math!”

MJ watched this with narrowed eyes, looking from Ned and Betty to Peter and back.  “This is so very heteronormative.  I think I’m gonna barf.”

Peter was alarmed. “How do we not be heteronormative?”

“You and Ned could hold hands?”  MJ suggested.

Ned looked at Peter and extended his hand.  Peter shrugged and took it.

“Okay, that’s a good start.   Next.”  MJ turned to Betty and held out her forearm like someone out of a costume drama.  “I realize that I don’t know you very well, but may I, mademoiselle?”

Betty giggled and then curtsied.  Betty could curtsy? Ned reeled over this new information.  Of course, she could. 

“Thank you, kind lady,” Betty said before delicately tucking her hand into the crook of MJ’s elbow.    “We’re both in Woziank’s class first period, right?  Walk me there?”

“For sure.”

With that, MJ and Betty turned and glided away, with an over-the-shoulder smile from Betty that made Ned momentarily burn like the return of his woozy-headed fever.  MJ in turn, threw a devouring sort of glance back at Peter before they disappeared into the crowded hallway, making Ned blister in proximity to Peter.  Whoa.

“Uh, they left,” Ned said.

“Yep,” Peter agreed.

They were still holding hands. 

“Is this doing anything for you?” Ned asked.

“Sorry man, no. You’re super cute, but I’m kinda into someone else.”

“Same,” Ned said glumly.  “I can understand your appeal, but I think we’re better off as friends.”

“Wanna walk me to class?”

“Sure.”  Ned shrugged without dropping Peter’s hand.

“So, you and Betty, huh?”

“I’m trying, man.  I’m trying.”

“Hey, are you feeling better?  I forgot to ask.  You _seem_ better,” Peter asked.

“Yeah, so much better.  Except for watching the girl I like walk away arm in arm with someone else, I’m totally fine.  Thanks.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who wanted to see how Ned reacted to Peter and MJ’s shenanigans. Hope it gives you some warm fuzzy feelings!


End file.
